Almost as soon as I arrived home from being discharged, I was then admitted to the ER for a bloody nose. While a bloody nose might now be serious for an otherwise healthy person, my case was quite different. My nose had been bleeding for hours a day and for the past two weeks. Moreover my blood counts were low and there was little chance that the bleeding would stop on its own.
Once at the VA's ER, I went through the formal process of checking in, which includes a lot of formulaic questions that have nothing to do with your illness and are merely check-the-box psychological issues: e.g., do you feel safe at home, is someone stealing from you, how often do you drink or smoke, do you have access to violent weapons, etc. Once I passed admission, I was afforded the opportunity to sit in a room and bleed for 14 hours while nobody did anything. I was told no eating or drinking, they would not allow me to take the pain medication that I brought, and they weren't even going to let me take my cancer medicine. Basically, they had no idea what to do with me, the staff took no initiative to deal with the bleeding, and while they were supposed to call the Ear Nose and Throat specialist, they downplayed the situation such that he put me at the bottom of the priority list. This caused me to have to wait a total of 14 hours for the ENT. Again, during that time, with the exception of two individuals near the end of the shift, nobody did anything.
When the ENT did show up, he decided to pack my nose. This means that he shoved an already oversized sponge deep into my nostril. The sponge then expanded further and really pushed everything around in my face; it's quite uncomfortable. I underwent the procedure without any medication because the ER nurse didn't feel like asking for authorization. Thankfully my pain tolerance is high at this point, but some tylenol would have been nice. I wasn't asking for morphine or whatnot.
After the procedure, I was sent back to the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit (BMTU), which really acts more like a family and is very supportive. I have had my rough times and issues with the BMTU, but I've also developed a new appreciation for the unit after having spent time in the ER and ICU.
I'm starting to fade again so I'll work on wrapping up this post for now.
As bad as I felt things were handled at the Seattle VA ER, it reaffirmed my resolve to trust in the Lord for support and never give up the fight. After two weeks in the MICU with C-Diff and everything else, I became very introspective and wanted to have a little pity parties where I focused on the fact that life in the present had become without hope and joy. After reading 2 Corinthians 4:7-18, I realized that though this present suffering is difficult, I will never be given more than I can handle. And while I continue to show my faith and bring glory to God, He is pleased, and I too can find joy in that. Moreover, I have a new appreciation for everything. Just being at home with my wife and free to sleep or read when I please is like a dream vacation.
Anyhow, I think I've used my energy for the day and it's time to sleep. I'll write more later.
My friend, I was encouraged by Paul in Philipians were he says he's "learned" to be content in many different situations. Encouraged because God is gracious and knows we won't just get it right away, he's patient and is with us throughout this learning process. And encouraged also because if Paul learned it, it means I can learn it too. Your learning is an encouragement to me! We can be confident that He who began a good work in us, will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Hang in there! We keep praying and He listens!
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