Sorry to sound like a broken record, but until I stop the foscarnet, things will not likely improve. This Thursday, on Dec 8 at 10:00 I'll have my endoscopy which will reveal whether I still have CMV or gut GVHD. If I do still have CMV, I'll have to remain on foscarnet until the virus is gone.
I'm really praying that the virus is not there because I am not tolerating this foscarnet well at all. Moreover, I will have to wait another month before I can do another endoscopy confirming the existence of CMV. (The VA has a policy that I must wait one month in between endoscopies.) That means another month at Hotel California and another month of foscarnet.
The headaches are getting worse and my appetite is almost nonexistent at this point. If I don't force myself to eat, I could easily go the entire day without food. I'm convinced the medicine is the culprit because my symptoms are not constant. I wake up feeling relatively okay for a few hours and start a downward spiral as I begin to shove the poison in my body throughout the day. I try to take advantage of the mornings by exercising, spending time in the Word, and eating what I can. By the afternoon, I'm spent and usually in a vegetative state.
I've said it before, but this treatment is making me feel like I'm dying. The doctors say that we are making progress, but after more than 200 days from the transplant, they still cannot provide a clear direction on treatment nor can they provide an endgame.
The bottom line is that a lot is riding on the results of the endoscopy. It will affect my treatment and the time that I remain here in Seattle.
Nathan, hope you got good news following the endoscopy. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Envisioning you on a mountaintop, surrounded by tall trees, fresh, crisp air, and a vista with nothing but nature surrounding you as far as the eyes can see. No poisons, no b.s., no virus, no doctors...just you and peace, together.
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