GVHD and CMV still present

I was just told that my recent endoscopy confirmed three separate ulcers, CMV, and GVHD in my gut. This means that I go back up on the immunosuppressants, I continue ECP treatment (more appointments), and I will continue either foscarnet or ganciclovir. Most likely, I'll be at the VA every day for several hours, and I may have multiple appointments. I am so burned out at this point; this is the worst news that I could have received. Upon hearing the news over the phone I broke down.

At this point, I wish that God would either heal me or take me home. This treatment is destroying me and there seems to be no end in sight. Just when I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel, it was only a gap before another dark and endless tunnel that I really do not have the energy to traverse. If it were not for God, I don't know what I would do at this point. I alone, certainly do not have the energy to continue. All I can do is pray for strength to proceed.