On the Mend

If you were able to look at me now and compare my current state to just one month ago, your initial reaction would likely be one of pity or sorrow. On the one hand, the road to recovery will be long, I am having trouble eating, I still have some issues that I am fighting, and my motor skills are going to take awhile to completely return.

On the other hand, I want to say that one would be completely amiss should they focus on the negatives. About a week ago, I passed through death and was barely conscious. Since then, I have moved from IV fluids to solid food, I went from being completely disabled to walking on my own, I studied/read for nearly an hour, and my mental abilities are making sharp returns. Things are really moving forward in the most awesome and miraculous manner. Unfortunately, I am not out of the woods yet; but rather than regressing, I am moving forward.

I could really focus on the negative aspect--as is my natural tendency. Instead, this ordeal has refined my faith in such a positive manner that I truly thank God for these struggles. I do not know what the end state is; there is both a mortality and morbidity rate associated with the transplant. I could easily relapse and die, or I could have a chronic return of graft versus host disease (GVHD) that leaves me debilitated for life. (Incidentally, I contracted a nasty case of GVHD that was extremely debilitating and is the reference towards "passing through death.") Thankfully, things do not seem to be going in that direction, and my oncologist says that I am "on the mend." However, I am not out of the woods yet. Instead, I have really learned to rely on the Lord for continued existence and provision. This time with Christ has been so pure that I would gladly endure these hardships again.

I want to thank everyone for their continued support, and I promise to continue updating everyone. Right now it is still difficult to type or focus for too long; but as long as I continue to improve, things will become easier.