Daily Routine

05:30 wake up for vitals and labs. Thank you for asking me if it's okay to wake me up after you already did.
06:30 wake up for breakfast. Please leave the tray; do not wake me up to verify my name and social security—and stop yelling my social security number throughout the ward. The patients in my ward may have dementia but the staff doesn’t.
08:00 wake up to listen to my lungs and take my weight.
09:00 chemotherapy premeds
10:00 chemotherapy starts and doesn’t end until well after midnight.

Throughout the day several doctors, nurses, or staff will stop by to take vitals, listen to my lungs, chat about things that I don’t really care to hear, ask me how I’m feeling, and discuss a whole host of issues. I don't know why everyone is so insistent about listening to my lungs; I have leukemia, not lung cancer or pneumonia or any other problem with my lungs. This might sound trivial, but after being woken up for the fourth time in a day, things add up. Everyone who comes in thinks that they are the only one to stop by. Add vitals every four hours, certain medications that must be taken every three or four hours, random tests and you're looking at an 18-hour day. Things are not synced or combined, meaning that the person who takes your vitals is not the person who listens to your lungs is not the person who takes your weight is not the person who gives you medication--you get the point. Just when you want sleep the most, it is taken from you.

Being here is worse than bootcamp or basic training in terms of morale and sleep deprivation. I am surrounded by death, I have a very good chance of dying, and I’m treated like a lab rat as I march to my death.